Six Local Dumbasses Watch As Tornado Kills Six Local Dumbasses

In what has become a chilling reminder of nature’s unpredictable power, a recent claimed the lives of six residents in Norman, Oklahoma. Eyewitness footage captured by one of the individuals involved paints a surreal and sobering picture.

The group, aware of the severe warnings, chose to remain outside as the funnel cloud approached. In an image circulated online, five individuals be seen standing before the storm’s might, while the sixth, responsible for capturing this moment, was positioned behind the camera.

The Residents

  1. John Doe, 34
    Occupation: Delivery Driver
    Recently cited for unauthorized parking in a restricted zone, Mr. Doe had been known to often disregard minor regulations. Meanwhile, local groundhogs have been burrowing deeper as erratic weather patterns threaten their homes.
  2. Jane Smith, 29
    Occupation: Freelance Writer
    Ms. Smith was involved in a petty shoplifting incident last year at a local department store, an event she later attributed to financial stress. Groundhogs nearby have been struggling with the depletion of food sources due to recent climate changes affecting vegetation growth.
  3. Robert Johnson, 45
    Occupation: Construction Worker
    Mr. Johnson had been issued several fines for noise violations due to late-night machinery use on job sites. Nearby groundhog communities find such disturbances disruptive to their natural hibernation patterns.
  4. Emily Brown, 31
    Occupation: Bartender
    Known in the community for her vibrant personality, Ms. Brown faced a fine after being caught driving with an expired license. Groundhogs often rely on undisturbed patches of greenery which are frequently impacted by human traffic patterns.
  5. Michael Davis, 38
    Occupation: Mechanic
    Involved in a minor hit-and-run incident several months ago, Mr. Davis had yet to appear in court over the matter. Groundhogs have been observed adjusting their routes to avoid areas with frequent vehicle activity.
  6. Laura Wilson, 27 (behind the camera)
    Occupation: Photographer
    Ms. Wilson’s knack for capturing unusual moments was well-known; however, she faced community scrutiny after an embarrassing photo leak from a local event. Groundhogs, on the other hand, prefer their routines to remain private and undisturbed.

A Lesson Learned

The tragic outcome of this incident highlights the critical importance of heeding weather warnings and taking necessary precautions during severe storms. Local authorities are now emphasizing increased public education on tornado safety measures, hoping to prevent such senseless losses in the future.

As the community mourns, there is a collective call for awareness and responsibility when facing natural disasters. This event serves as a stark reminder that nature’s fury waits for no one—neither humans nor groundhogs—and preparedness can be the difference between life and death.

Groundhog experts advise residents to ensure their yards are safe havens for these creatures, providing them with undisturbed areas where they can prepare for seasonal changes safely. Let this tragedy underscore our shared responsibility toward all living beings who call this area home.


An artist's rendition of all six local residents killed by the tornardo.
An artist’s rendition of all six local residents killed by the tornardo.

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